Read this before applying for your Citibank card

November 19, 2009 at 12:53 4 comments

Last Friday, I submitted an online application to Citibank because I wanted a credit card from them. Easy-peasy, right? ‘Cos of our being in the hi-tech cyberspace age and all. But nooooooo. This is what happened after.

Phone rings Friday evening.

Citibank officer: Dr. Katie, I understand you have made an online application for a credit card.

Me: Yep. And?

CO: I will be emailing you some documents for you to fill up, ma’am.

Me: Eh why? I already submitted my CPF documents online.

CO: Yes, but we need to see your signature on some forms.

Me: OK, fair enough. I will fill them in after I next check my email.

Methinks: end of story. Wrong. Phone rings Saturday afternoon.

Same CO: Hi Dr. Katie. Have you filled up those forms yet?

Me: Er, no. I got back really late last night. And I’m out now.

CO: Okaaaaay. So you will do it later today?

Me: I don’t think so. I’m spending the night on Sentosa.

CO: So can you get it done by Monday morning?

Me: (starting to get irritated) I do have to work on Monday morning, you know.

CO: So by Monday afternoon?

Me: I will try.

CO: By what time on Monday afternoon?

Me: (minor explosion) What is the rush?! I’ll do it when I have time!

CO: (chuckles condescendingly) You see, we’ll need seven to fourteen days to process your application, ma’am.

Me: Uh-huh. I don’t need it immediately. So I’ll get you the forms when I have time to do so, OK? (hangs up firmly)

So I print out those damn forms, zap my identity card and fax the whole thing over at Monday lunchtime. Like, that should be it, right? Guess what. Wrong again. Phone rings Monday afternoon.

CO: Hello, Dr. Katie!

Me: (tries to refrain from taking the good Lord’s name in vain, and ends up with very tightly clenched teeth) Yessssss?

CO: I got the documents you faxed.

Me: Yesssssssssssss?

CO: But I cannot see your IC details. You should have photocopied it at 200% size, and made it 40 – 80% lighter, you know.

Me: (thinks: how the F would I have known that?) So you need another copy.

CO: That’s right. Could you do it right away, ma’am?

Me: No (if ‘no’ contained sibilants, it would have sounded very different)! I am not in the office now! I can’t do it before tomorrow.

CO: By what time tomorrow?

Me: (hangs up)

Nonetheless, I do get the damn IC enlarged and faxed over by Tuesday morning. Phone rings Tuesday afternoon. No one is surprised anymore.

Me: (rudely cuts off CO’s greeting) I ALREADY FAXED IT TO YOU!!! 

CO: Yes, that’s right.

Me: And???

CO: I would like to introduce to you our link-up with Mastercard. Did you know that Citibank-Mastercard is internationally recognized? You will enjoy many benefits when you travel. And there’s no charge for three years!

Me: I already have Mastercard.

CO: But Citibank-Mastercard is internationally recognized to bring you many benefits! And there’s no charge for three years!

Me: (suppresses a loud scream)

That wasn’t the last time she called me that day. She was really on a roll. 

CO: Dr. Katie, the address on your IC is different from the billing address you wrote on the form (this is true; I never bothered to get it changed when I moved out).

Me: Yes, it is different.

CO: So the billing address you want is <reads out my current address>?

Me: Yes, that’s right.

CO: And can I verify that you want us to send all correspondance to this address?

Me: (can’t help it) Yessssssssss.

CO: Then I will need you to send me billing proof.

Me: Huh?

CO: (slowly and deliberately) Billiiiing prooooooof, ma’am.

Me: What is billing proof?

CO: Proof that your bills get sent there.

Me: (thinks: F this cow) What sort of proof?

CO: Like, your handphone bill, or another credit card bill. You know, to show that your bills get sent to the address that you gave.

Me: You want me to send you my other bills?!

CO: (approvingly) That’s right, ma’am.

Me: I never heard of such a thing before! And I opted for e-statements anyway! That’s supposed to be paperless, isn’t it?!

CO: (cheerfully) But we will still need billing proof!

Grrrrr… if she calls me one more time I’m cancelling the damn application.

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Entry filed under: Dear Diary. Tags: .

The Longchamp monster Real-life bitching, or, pro-life-preserving usage of email

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kel  |  November 19, 2009 at 23:36

    sista.. i is got citibank card. if she gives u more grief, we can lump our (online bag) purchases together.. :D

    Reply
    • 2. Katie  |  November 20, 2009 at 07:49

      Thank you, my dear! Seriously, have you picked out anything you like yet? :)

      Reply
  • 3. kel  |  November 22, 2009 at 00:19

    u mean the main webbie or the sample sale? no more sample sale liao.. ): boohoo

    Reply
    • 4. Katie  |  November 22, 2009 at 12:19

      Definitely the main webbie (which also has some sale items). I have my eye on at least three, much to the chagrin of your bro.

      Reply

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Welcome to my blog!


My blog-name is Katie but I will not respond if you call me that in real life because it's not my real name. Yes, I do practise virtual-world paranoia. No, I do not enjoy stalkers. But I do enjoy writing and having folks reading said writing, so welcome to my world. It's nice to meet you.

Playing in my head over and over again argh

I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song (Jim Croce)

Book(s) of the moment

Hogfather (Terry Pratchett)

Books read in 2010 and 2011

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (JK Rowling) - 'cos the movie's coming out!
Frankenstein: Lost Souls (Dean Koontz) - ah, bugger, it's part of a series! Now I hafta find all the books...
Dismantled (Jennifer McMahon) - oh, good one
Tigerlily's Orchids (Ruth Rendell)
Shutter Island (Dennis LeHane) - reminds me too much of work
Holy Fools (Joanne Harris) - it's official: I prefer her scary books
A Series of Unfortunate Events; The Unauthorized Autobiography; The Beatrice Letters (Lemony Snicket)
The Little Friend (Donna Tartt)
The main books - 11 so far - of the Southern Vampire series; the Aurora Teagarden series except for A Fool & His Honey - that makes it 7; Sweet & Deadly (Charlaine Harris)
The Woman in Black (Susan Hill)
Full Dark, No Stars (Stephen King)
Room: A Novel (Emma Donaghue)
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children (Ransom Riggs)
The Bachman Books (Stephen King)
Men At Arms (Terry Pratchett)
Carpe Jugulum (Terry Pratchett)
The Fifth Elephant (Terry Pratchett)
Beauty (Robin McKinley)
The Sandman, Vol 1 (Neil Gaiman)
The Burden (Agatha Christie) - her crime novels are waaay better
Snuff (Terry Pratchett)

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Disclaimers: 1) I cannot help but bitch about work sometimes, but everything here comes under the realm of personal remarks, and nothing here is said in my professional capacity. Nor does anything here reflect the opinion of the institutions that employ me. This is just me shooting off. 2) Most identities have been anonymized, particularly those of folks I know on a personal basis. Same goes for my workplaces. However, commercial and public places and figures remain named. Otherwise some things just wouldn't make sense. 3) Links and sources have been provided where appropriate and possible. They are not meant to challenge anyone's ownership. If this causes any discomfort or offence, please let me know.

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