Fruit Farm: First Week

May 22, 2009 at 15:04 2 comments

Keeping a blog has made me realize something about myself – the more intensely I feel about something, the less I express it. When I am relatively content and fancy-free, I like to turn my mind loose onto random details, free-associate and write it all down. When I am stressed and bothered, I stop talking. I’d probably stop blogging too, if I didn’t actually make an effort to continue.

Why am I so bummed by my return to what is effectively my old home? If I stopped to write it all down, I’d have to take so much leave they’d fire me. So let’s just start with my meeting my new boss, Junglelord. During my last conversation with him, I’d already been in the Fruit Farm for over three years. He began that conversation by asking my name, and ended it by advising me to have children. This one went something like this:

Me: Good afternoon, Junglelord.

Junglelord: Have you worked in my department before?

Me: No, Junglelord.

J: Hmm. Well. I’ve heard some good things about you (with great scepticism). But I’ve never seen you in action. So I’ll have to see.

Me: Of course.

J: How was your previous posting?

Me: It was good. Here’s a letter that my previous head wrote to you (thinks: not that she needed to do this; she was being nice and hoped that the letter would help you remember my name this time).

J: (looks at letter as if it were a horse booger) What’s this?

Me: (thinks: deaf) A letter. That my previous head wrote. To you.

J: (suspicious) Why?

Me: (thinks: because she hates trees?) She wanted to do this the proper way.

J: Why?

Me: (thinks: you prefer the improper way?) Documentation.

J: What?

Me: (looking prim) Documentation is important.

J: (gives me a beady look and finally takes the letter) No it’s not. Substance is important.

Me: Of course.

And that was just the beginning. During the rest of it, he told me that I probably wouldn’t prove to be “hopeless”, but I’d have to work hard to avoid being “substandard”. How inspiring. It was not possible to converse normally with Junglelord. It will probably never be possible. I do not understand him at all. I think you’d need to be from another planet to do that.

You should have seen the departmental meeting the other day. Junglelord was chairing and threw in a few would-be humourous remarks. One person obediently doubled up in loud giggles at every remark. The other twenty people in the room were silent. 

I don’t know how the FF became this insane. I don’t know why it is the blind, self-absorbed, delusional, pompous, and sometimes plain stupid who are given free rein to run rampant. How do they expect the sane and the efficient to want to stay?

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Entry filed under: Dear Diary. Tags: .

Back At The Fruit Farm High Like A Kite

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. kel  |  May 23, 2009 at 23:59

    sounds uber annoying already. i totally agree with your first para. i’ve been so inactive in blogging lately. sighhh..

    Reply
  • 2. fairplay  |  June 2, 2009 at 07:23

    A long break. Hope everything is well.

    Reply

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Welcome to my blog!


My blog-name is Katie but I will not respond if you call me that in real life because it's not my real name. Yes, I do practise virtual-world paranoia. No, I do not enjoy stalkers. But I do enjoy writing and having folks reading said writing, so welcome to my world. It's nice to meet you.

Playing in my head over and over again argh

I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song (Jim Croce)

Book(s) of the moment

Hogfather (Terry Pratchett)

Books read in 2010 and 2011

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (JK Rowling) - 'cos the movie's coming out!
Frankenstein: Lost Souls (Dean Koontz) - ah, bugger, it's part of a series! Now I hafta find all the books...
Dismantled (Jennifer McMahon) - oh, good one
Tigerlily's Orchids (Ruth Rendell)
Shutter Island (Dennis LeHane) - reminds me too much of work
Holy Fools (Joanne Harris) - it's official: I prefer her scary books
A Series of Unfortunate Events; The Unauthorized Autobiography; The Beatrice Letters (Lemony Snicket)
The Little Friend (Donna Tartt)
The main books - 11 so far - of the Southern Vampire series; the Aurora Teagarden series except for A Fool & His Honey - that makes it 7; Sweet & Deadly (Charlaine Harris)
The Woman in Black (Susan Hill)
Full Dark, No Stars (Stephen King)
Room: A Novel (Emma Donaghue)
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children (Ransom Riggs)
The Bachman Books (Stephen King)
Men At Arms (Terry Pratchett)
Carpe Jugulum (Terry Pratchett)
The Fifth Elephant (Terry Pratchett)
Beauty (Robin McKinley)
The Sandman, Vol 1 (Neil Gaiman)
The Burden (Agatha Christie) - her crime novels are waaay better
Snuff (Terry Pratchett)

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Disclaimers: 1) I cannot help but bitch about work sometimes, but everything here comes under the realm of personal remarks, and nothing here is said in my professional capacity. Nor does anything here reflect the opinion of the institutions that employ me. This is just me shooting off. 2) Most identities have been anonymized, particularly those of folks I know on a personal basis. Same goes for my workplaces. However, commercial and public places and figures remain named. Otherwise some things just wouldn't make sense. 3) Links and sources have been provided where appropriate and possible. They are not meant to challenge anyone's ownership. If this causes any discomfort or offence, please let me know.

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