The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative

April 27, 2009 at 08:36 Leave a comment

I’m sure I wasn’t the only person who had gastronomic fantasies while reading about Hannibal Lecter’s meals of human cheeks, thymus glands and brains. I enjoy eating weird food. I frequently patronize this stall in Adam Road that sells a mean bowl of lamb-brain soup. I’m the person you’ll find scraping and sucking at bones to get at that chunk of marrow. I have fond memories of the plate of pig lung I found at a Taipei roadside stall.

So I was quite pleased to stumble upon a webpage describing Hufu, which is the tofu facsimile of human flesh, for “cannibals who want to quit”.  

What does it taste like? According to the FAQ,

“If you’ve never had human flesh before, think of the taste and texture of beef, except a little sweeter in taste and a little softer in texture. Contrary to popular belief, people do not taste like pork or chicken.”

Just ask the shade of William Seabrook, an American journalist-occultist-explorer who died in 1945. He somehow managed to obtain a chunk of human flesh from a hospital intern, then cooked it and ate it and wrote at length about its taste.

“It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game and pork have. The steak was slightly tougher than prime veal, a little stringy, but not too tough or stringy to be agreeably edible. The roast, from which I cut and ate a central slice, was tender, and in colour, texture, smell as well as taste, strengthened my certainty that of all meats we habitually know, veal is the one meat to which this meat is accurately comparable.”

‘Tis a strange sensation to feel my mouth water and my stomach churn at the same time. 

Seabrook’s account sounds authentic.

Too bad Hufu is not.

It’s just a spoof that never really existed. Its ‘creator’, Mark Nuckols (Knuckles??? How apt) actually had a website that closed after about a year in existence. People tried to buy Hufu online but never received their goods. When they called the number listed in the site, all they got was this poor besieged woman who was completely bamboozled at the weird calls.

The official Hufu website has disappeared as well, but various sites remain that still describe the stuff.

If Mr. Nuckols had pulled this stunt in Singapore, somebody would have sued the pants off him before applying the rattan.

Still, I wonder about Hufu.

“I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner.” – Hannibal Lecter

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Entry filed under: Unbelievable!. Tags: .

House @ Dempsey Harper’s Island Episode 3

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Welcome to my blog!


My blog-name is Katie but I will not respond if you call me that in real life because it's not my real name. Yes, I do practise virtual-world paranoia. No, I do not enjoy stalkers. But I do enjoy writing and having folks reading said writing, so welcome to my world. It's nice to meet you.

Playing in my head over and over again argh

I'll Have To Say I Love You In A Song (Jim Croce)

Book(s) of the moment

Hogfather (Terry Pratchett)

Books read in 2010 and 2011

Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows (JK Rowling) - 'cos the movie's coming out!
Frankenstein: Lost Souls (Dean Koontz) - ah, bugger, it's part of a series! Now I hafta find all the books...
Dismantled (Jennifer McMahon) - oh, good one
Tigerlily's Orchids (Ruth Rendell)
Shutter Island (Dennis LeHane) - reminds me too much of work
Holy Fools (Joanne Harris) - it's official: I prefer her scary books
A Series of Unfortunate Events; The Unauthorized Autobiography; The Beatrice Letters (Lemony Snicket)
The Little Friend (Donna Tartt)
The main books - 11 so far - of the Southern Vampire series; the Aurora Teagarden series except for A Fool & His Honey - that makes it 7; Sweet & Deadly (Charlaine Harris)
The Woman in Black (Susan Hill)
Full Dark, No Stars (Stephen King)
Room: A Novel (Emma Donaghue)
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children (Ransom Riggs)
The Bachman Books (Stephen King)
Men At Arms (Terry Pratchett)
Carpe Jugulum (Terry Pratchett)
The Fifth Elephant (Terry Pratchett)
Beauty (Robin McKinley)
The Sandman, Vol 1 (Neil Gaiman)
The Burden (Agatha Christie) - her crime novels are waaay better
Snuff (Terry Pratchett)

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I started my first photoblog on 3 May, 2009. Each post features one picture, with a little story of how it came about. Do take a look by clicking on: Manx Pictures
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Disclaimers: 1) I cannot help but bitch about work sometimes, but everything here comes under the realm of personal remarks, and nothing here is said in my professional capacity. Nor does anything here reflect the opinion of the institutions that employ me. This is just me shooting off. 2) Most identities have been anonymized, particularly those of folks I know on a personal basis. Same goes for my workplaces. However, commercial and public places and figures remain named. Otherwise some things just wouldn't make sense. 3) Links and sources have been provided where appropriate and possible. They are not meant to challenge anyone's ownership. If this causes any discomfort or offence, please let me know.

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