The following material is incompatible with mealtimes

Here’s what my lunchtime Facebook trawl dredged up today:

Blink. SNAIL CREAM???

Mr. Manx will testify that I’m the sort of idiot who, when confronted with a bottle of baby powder, can be counted on to say something like, “What, made from real babies?”

In the same spirit, I clicked on the snail cream link to find:

Mmm... snail cream... ecstasy...

Oh yeah, made from real snail slime.  Urgh.

This is an indication for cognitive reframing - I am someone who enjoys eating chicken feet, fish eyeballs and liver sashimi, and who’s had nice cooling drinks made from grated antelope horn and bird saliva, and who believes in daily topical applications of fermented rice filtrate. Slathering snail mucus on one’s face is not so bad.

… Not working. Urgh.

You man, no beard

Excerpt from a Fruit Farm Intranet announcement (“mask”, by the way, refers to surgical specimens and not, say, Batman):

So, uh, could I come, if I had a beard? Maybe, being female, the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin are finer and would fold nicely into the mask, possibly because I use conditioner? What about other variants of facial hair? I suppose Misogynistic Moustachio’s moustachio might conceivably pass muster if he managed to stuff it all inside the mask, even if that’s only possible by a hair (hur hur hur, sometimes I amaze myself). But why did nobody mention sideburns – surely those get in the way too? Especially those Ye Olde Englishman types that go straight (and sometimes sideways) from ear to chin? Or folks of no-removal-of hair.period religions, who may have hair going the other way, viz. chin to ears?

Oh, the lengths I go to to entertain myself this rainy Friday, on call, alone in the Farce Room, and Mr. Manx-less for the weekend. Haaaaaaaiizzzzzz.

The skater

They like to put up this dinky little skating rink in Novena Square at this time of year, and get in some skaters to show their stuff in the middle of the shopping centre. I couldn’t help particularly liking this photo that I took on my Ixus. I’ll do more justice to it when I get some time with Photoshop on my home computer. But here it is in its slapdash form.

Kapoot

I’m not sure if Kel remembers a comment I made on her blog about Sakae Sushi and how a few of us were sniggering – possibly a tad loudly – at the Caucasian guy behind us who was wading through five plates of edamame. Well, this week, we were at Sakae Sushi again and we saw the same guy, and he was – you guessed it – wading through another five plates of edamame.

I do wonder if suicide bombers ever considered using methane.

Spotted: Up In The Tree

Heading towards Mait’s Rest in the Otway region, we were wondering why the hell there were cars parked along the Great Ocean Road all of a sudden. After all, there were just trees, trees and more trees. Then we looked up where people were pointing and saw these two.

Oochie-koochie lookie de cutie wutie pie widdle koawa baybeeeeee…

Spotted: Picky Customer

Menu at a prata place in Clementi, after falling into the hands of a punctilious diner.

Spotted: Gross Object In My Food

PUBIC HAIR IN MY CHILLI SAUCE!!!!!!!!!!! Cannot begin to express how gross this is!

Spotted: Pie Kia

There is a cleverly-named little shop at the side of Ang Mo Kio Hub. It sells pies (duh…) and, for the uninitiated, ‘kia’ is Hokkien for kid. Colloquially, ‘pai kia’ means ‘bad kid’, and the picture on the box accordingly shows a has-been punk with an earring. The pies are not fantastic, but kudos to the conceptualizer of the shop.

Spotted: EZ929A

Eh indeed

In English: Easy Night Tonight Eh.

Either a playboy, or an unfortunate sod like me who has night shifts… but considering the make of car, I’d say the former.

Spotted: Mercedes Vitoto

Viva Vitoto!

From Vito to Vitoto. Odds are, this van belongs to a gambling man.

(In Singapore, Toto is a form of public gambling… not just the name of an American rock band.)